Cuff Links for Pastafarians

News from Ring of Fire Enterprises.

Thanks to the many who requested cuff links. We've completed the design and review processes and we've authorized production for Flying Spaghetti Monster and Pirate Fish cuff links. They should be available in a few weeks.

Pet Care for Rapure Victims

A group of entrepreneurial atheists started offering pet care services to devout Christians who expect to ascend bodily to heaven in the rapture. Since the founders of the company have no chance of salvation, they can guarantee years of humane post-rapture care for a measly $110.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Lending Team

The following conversation took place on Kiva between Pastafarians:

Dan C has left the following message for the The Flying Spaghetti Monster Lending Team:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_science_practitioner

"Any student of Christian Science who has taken the 'intensive' two-week class instruction in Christian Science healing may use the initials 'C.S.,' and take patients as a practitioner."

"Some traditional insurance plans cover the cost of treatment received from a Christian Science practitioner listed in the Christian Science Journal. The United States government has ruled that payment for Christian Science treatment is now considered a medical expense by the IRS and by the Department of Housing and Urban Development."

Holy macaroni! I looked up "Christian Science Practitioner" because I've been summoned for jury duty (in Massachusetts, USA) and one of the justifications they list for disqualification is, "Physically or mentally incapable of performing jury duty. A note from a doctor or a Christian Science Practitioner describing the illness or disability is required."

Is it just me, or is this completely INSANE??? Do any of you know where I can find a Pastafarian Science Practitioner to evaluate me and determine whether I am fit to serve jury duty? I wonder if that would count...

The following reply was posted:

It is worth trying to get your disqualification by presenting a note on a napkin from chef in any Italian restaurant that has pasta with meatballs on the menu. One assumes that if you present both the note and the menu as supporting evidence it would work.

Ramen.

Flying Spaghetti Monster seen in New Zealand

Thanks to Robin for this FSM sighting.

Evolution banned in Missouri

A Missouri high school banned the school's marching band from wearing T-shirts that depict brass instruments evolving into one another.

The "Brass Evolutions" shirt was based on the ascent-of-man image and religious conservatives were offended. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

"If the shirts had said 'Brass Resurrections' and had a picture of Jesus on the cross we would have done the same thing," said a school official.

So, let me get this straight. A SCHOOL banned the expression of a scientific idea (evolution) because it conflicts with unproven beliefs of ignorant fundamentalists?

Pastafarians Give Big Micro-Loans on Kiva

USA Today has an article revealing that atheists, agnostics and Pastafarians are topping other religious groups in micro-loans through Kiva:

In first place, with $761,975 loaned -- Atheists, Agnostics, Skeptics, Freethinkers, Secular Humanists and the Non-Religious "committed to caring about suffering." Next in the listings: Kiva Christians ($519,725), followed by Team Obama ($408,500).

Sort by "Religious Congregations" to find that, topping Kiva Mormons ($57,425) and Kiva Catholics ($59,625) is the squadron devoted to the The Flying Spaghetti Monster ($81,725) who sign on to give because "Thou shalt share, that none may seek without finding."

The prophet Bobby Henderson is proselytizing atheists, agnostics, skeptics, freethinkers and secular humanists and non-religious with the following message:

"Dear Atheists, Agnostics, Freethinkers, etc:

It’s not to late to Believe in something!

I know you have trouble Believing in a Higher Power – we all have these doubts from time to time. You just need to have Faith.

Once not too long ago, I was like you all - Lost, with no direction or hope. Then I had a Vision and He changed my life. I am talking of course of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Let me ask you something: After a large meal of Pasta, do you feel more at peace? Scientists will confirm that after such a meal, endorphins and other “brain chemicals” are firing overtime. His Noodlyness at work!

I know many of you are academics and base your decisions on observation; before joining our Church, you’ll need a flawless argument. Consider this: the Flying Spaghetti Monster alters our perception of reality such that we can’t see or measure His influence. Thus, lack of observable evidence of His existence is, itself, evidence of His existence. After all, what else but an all powerful God could manage such a feat as this.

You’re all welcome to join our team on Kiva. We are over 500 strong and have raised nearly $80k of our $100k goal. Our kiva team link: http://www.kiva.org/team/fsm

Every Friday is a religious holiday for Pastafarians, you’ll be entitled to take these off from work.

For more about our religion feel free to view our website: http://www.venganza.org

Thank you for your time and may the FSM Touch each and every one of you with His Noodly Appendage.

RAmen,

Bobby Henderson"

Zen Koan

Student asks his teacher: Sometimes you talk about Tara like she is a real person, but sometimes you say she is the wisdom of the Buddha Amoghasiddhi. Does she really exist or does she not?

After a few moments, the lama replies: She knows she is not real.

Santa Cruz Sentinel on Cat Licensing

The Santa Cruz Sentinel published my letter to the editor regarding cat licensing:

Discussing cat licensing

On June 25, the Santa Cruz Animal Services' general manager submitted a plan to the ASA board that would mandate the licensing of cats. If the measure is adopted veterinarians will be required to give their client's personal information to Animal Services each time they vaccinate a cat for rabies.

Although all attending community members who addressed the board voiced opposition to the measure, the board voted to proceed with the measure by contacting county veterinarians. They plan to discuss this issue again at their next meeting.

ASA's published agenda seemed to hide the cat licensing issue by giving it the title "Consider and recommend proposed ordinance changes to jurisdictions" which made it difficult for community members to be fully informed in advance of the meeting.

The ASA Board will continue discussion of this issue at their next meeting and if they approve it, the measure will be forwarded to the city council and county board of supervisors.