People attend performances by a Professor Jose Miranda in Miami who calls himself a rumpologist. He uses bamboo sticks and crystals "specially imported from the Orient" to trace every line, curvature and dimple of his clients' butts. He says the left cheek is the cheek of the future and the right cheek is the cheek of the present.
But wait there's more. You can hire Sly Stallone's mom to read your butt. Is this a great country or what? For a mere $125.00, she'll read your buttocks from a close-up photo or a scan and she'll send you a report about where your butt will take you next.
I predict that those who have their butts analyzed are on crack and the future of rumpology is crappy.