Monday, September 12, 2005

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Pirates and global warming

It's been said that laughter is an effective balm to tragedy and despair. In that spirit, I would like to share a novel theory about the cause of natural disasters that has turned up in an unexpected place.

In a submission this summer to the Kansas State Board of Education, an Oregon man sought equal consideration of his "religion" as part of the board's controversial decision to allow intelligent design to be taught in state schools along with the natural selection theory of evolution. In describing his belief system, Bobby Henderson wrote:

"You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature."

To give this startling and heretofore uncontemplated syllogism your full consideration, perhaps you should know a bit more about Mr. Henderson's religion. He writes:

"Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him."

To learn more about this "faith" and its growing number of adherents, sometimes referred to as Pastafarans, visit Talk Like a Pirate Day .

Whether this resurgence of interest in swashbucklers and privateers has any effect on global warming and natural disasters, matey, is a matter of conjecture...or faith. Arrrrrgh!