"If only I could find a religion that made sense of the modern world! Haven't you heard the good news?
What's that? The world was created by some strands of pasta with two goggle eyes on stalks.
Really? Judging from the picture He has a huge pair of balls, too. Blasphemy! Don't you realise you're talking about the divine leader of a new religion with many followers?
What are they called? Pastafarians.
What do they believe in? Every Friday should be a religious holiday."