Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Significant Events in the Fish Wars: 2005

Probably the most significant event in the fish wars on cars this year was the establishment of the International Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster brought to us by Bobby Henderson. Our intelligently designed FSM car emblem is helping to fund Bobby's pirate ship which will provide a tax dodge combat global warming.

Pat Robertson, blissfully insane televangelist,expressed his desire to have the CIA assassinate Hugo Chavez, Venezuela's popular, democratically-elected president. Chavez offered Venezuela oil at reduced cost to poor residents in the U.S. This kind of anti-U.S. behavior cannot be tolerated.

Meanwhile Bolivia's President-elect Evo Morales and his entire cabinet will take a 50-percent pay cut so more staff can be hired for the education and health sectors. Has Pat Robertson heard of this outrage? Chavez and Morales are working to nationalize Venezuela's oil and Bolivia's natural gas so that these products can be used for the public good. Meanwhile in the USA, privatization of everything is benefiting large corporations. Latin America better get their priorities straight before Robertson sics the CIA on them both.

Earlier this year, James Dobson outed SpongeBob Squarepants. I heard started a rumor that Spongebob and the purple teletubby are dating. Dobson pointed out that Squarepants is guilty of promoting evil in the form of tolerance and diversity.

The ignorantly designed Dover, Pennsylvania school board was voted out after promoting "intelligent design" for science education. Rick Santorum, dog-lover, was astonished to discover that religious wingnuts were promoting "intelligent design" (after his support for it led to his low ratings in the polls).

What was your favorite event in the cultural wars?