Flying Spaghetti Monster: Going Out

Going out today are all FSM emblems orders received through August 31st. Please check your email for a tracking number from UPS or USPS.

One order didn't get processed because there was a problem with the credit card number. I tried calling the person who placed the order, but the voice mail was for someone by a completely different name so I didn't leave a message. I emailed the person, but it was an odd looking email address (really folks we don't spam and we don't sell or trade any customer information - we hate spam and telemarketing).

If you placed order #1875-8875-3551 on August 31st please contact us.

Order #1875-7510-5800 placed August 30th can't be filled either. We've emailed, but haven't received a reply.

Spaghetti Monsters are Flying

Going out Friday are all FSM emblems ordered through August 30.

All the good stuff is happening while I'm too busy to read or blog about it (Tom Delay indicted, Judy Miller out of jail to testify that Scooter Libby (Big Dick's Chief of Staff) leaked the identity of CIA officer, Valerie Plame.

I'm now starting to pack orders that arrived August 31st.

No time to gloat about Dale Gribble Tom Delay's troubles. Bugman squashed? Must resist reading the news....

Flying Spaghetti Monster Shipping Update 2

Today all orders received before August 29th have been shipped unless you received an email from us with a question (credit card charges declined, problem with the address, etc.) Please check your email for tracking numbers emailed from USPS or UPS.

One little monster is heading for the land down under and another is crossing the pond to the U.K.

We now have enough emblems to fill all exisiting orders.

Someone complained that we make it hard for people to order. That's the first complaint we've had of that nature, but, if you want to place an order just click on the display ad in the side bar or go to Ring of Fire Enterprises and click on the graphic of the item you want to order. If you have any additional problems with placing an order, feel free to email us.

As soon as this is posted, we'll be packing orders we received on August 29th.

Thank you for your support and for your patience.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Shipping Update

The following FSM emblems are going out today, Wednesday:

All orders placed August 24th and 25th and some placed on the 26th.

Please check your email for tracking numbers from USPS or UPS (hint: if you can't find them in your inbox, try your spam folder).

More are going out later today (after I get a little sleep) so keep an eye out for those tracking numbers.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Emblems are Shipping

Rejoice Pastafarians for holy Flying Spaghetti Monster emblems are arriving soon. The factory worked over time to finish the first 500 emblems earlier than we expected. The first orders we received will be the first filled.

We love hearing from you, but we're really, really busy getting these packages ready and shipped out and it will slow us down if we must respond to questions about each individual order so at the end of each day, I'll report here which orders have gone out.

In addition, if you gave us a valid email address, the postal service or UPS (depending on the shipping service you selected) will email a tracking number to you. The postal service tracking is not as helpful at the one UPS will send. The latter will allow you to check daily to see where your package is. The USPS will probably let you know we've notified them that the package was prepared and they may not update their system until your package is delivered.

No charges are placed on your credit card until your package is ready to ship.

We have orders for more than 500 emblems, so if you ordered after Sept. 14, your order will be delayed until the factory finishes another 500 emblems.

Thank you very much for your orders and for your patience.

RAmen!

P.S. We're starting work on the Pirate fish also, but we aren't taking pre-orders yet.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Piths in the Wind

You'll want to add your comments to Pith in the Wind:

We here at the Scene are open to all forms of discourse about evolution vs. intelligent design, and I wanted to help move things along by mentioning the Flying Spaghetti Monster that Bobby Henderson wanted to introduce to Kansas schools.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Blogged on Blue Mass

Here on Blue Mass. Group is a great discussion of Intelligent Design that mentions our beloved Flying Spaghetti Monster?

... hypothesizes that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created all life on earth. So far, ID has utterly failed the most basic test of the scientific method. The "Darwinists," on the other hand, have been doing it right: devising a coherent theory that makes testable predictions, and then testing them. So far, it's doing quite well, which must have the ID crowd pretty scared.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Created World

I haven't had much time for this blog lately, but here's a report the FSM in the news. This report appeared ona television news report WXII12 in Roseberg, Oregon:

"A recent Oregon State University graduate has created a Web site which makes fun of the intelligent design movement.

The Web site has drawn more than 30 million hits in recent months. It features a tongue-and-cheek theory of how the world was created. It wasn't God -- but rather, a Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Bob Henderson is the 25-year-old creator of the Web site. He and his legion of 'Pastafarian' followers say they believe the universe was created by a giant Flying Spaghetti Monster -- a clump of tangled spaghetti with two eyes and 'noodly appendages.'

The Web site shows the monster seated at the table of the Last Supper.

Pastafarians say if alternatives to evolution, such as intelligent design, must be taught in schools, then the Spaghetti Monster theory, which is just as well thought out, deserves equal time."

In Pasta We Trust

Elayne pointed out today that our praiseworthy FSM was blasphemed in an article I posted yesterday when his / her / its appendages were called arms.

Nomad Coder suggests we either agree or start sects over whether the great one's holy sauce is marinara or alfredo and when is our Nicene Creed going to be determined? More importantly WHO will determine our Nicene Creed?

I am upset that the pesto option was not considered.

Meanwhile our Holy Pasta has been blasphemed again in an article suggesting he's diminutive in size. I'm sure he has big balls (and I believe they are meatless and no animals were harmed in their creation):

Always one of Earth's smaller gods, the Flying Spaghetti Monster's time has clearly come. Maybe it didn't create the Earth, but ending this twaddle about Intelligent Design might just be within its powers.

Let's recap. Intelligent Design boils down to the notion that the unsolved mysteries of evolution -- gaps in the fossil record, and so on -- can only be explained by interference from God. A project of the Christian right, "ID" doesn't totally reject all the scientific research that's taught us what we know so far, but it declares that some evolutionary questions can never be understood. It's as if 2005 were the cutoff date for science. Are there still questions about evolution? Then it must have been God at work.

Intelligent Design's scientific credibility is more or less exactly nil. But by wrapping ID in scientific language and fronting it with (largely Christian) PhDs, religious conservatives present it as a scientific theory to rival evolution. All things being equal, they say, both sides of this "debate" should be taught to grade-schoolers. Last month, U.S. President George W. Bush threw his weight behind teaching ID, commenting that students should be "exposed to different ideas."

Then something interesting happened. Bobby Henderson, a computer programmer in Oregon, posted a letter to the Kansas Board of Education on his website . He wanted a third theory to be taught in class, a theory with all the scientific weight of Intelligent Design. "I and many others around the world," Henderson wrote, "are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster."

"It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel," continued Henderson, postulating that the invisible monster planted all the physical evidence for evolution with "His Noodly Appendage."

"If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith."

An illustration is appended. The Flying Spaghetti Monster looks a bit like a plaintive slug with tentacles and a pair of meatballs.

Thus, with the letter as its holy text, the Internet's first protest religion was born: Pastafarianism. An instant phenomenon ensued.

First, the Flying Spaghetti Monster began attracting converts. Dozens of PhDs, appalled by the rise of Intelligent Design, wrote in to Henderson to pledge their support for the Pastafarians. Tribute art began pouring in. Somebody doctored a picture of the Sistine Chapel ceiling so that instead of God touching Adam, it is the Flying Spaghetti Monster reaching out with His Noodly Appendage instead.

The print media cottoned on. Acolytes from around the world began fleshing out the religion's finer points. Prayers are to end with "RAmen" instead of "Amen"; Pastafarian heaven features a beer volcano; pirate regalia is the holy garb. Sympathetic members of the Kansas Board of Education wrote back to voice their support. (Others did not.) And -- the ultimate proof of an Internet fad -- Henderson began selling Flying Spaghetti Monster T-shirts from an on-line store.

Within a month, Pastafarianism was everywhere. It has neatly skewered Intelligent Design with a grace that the scientific establishment couldn't muster. Moreover, the Flying Spaghetti Monster arrived at just the right moment in our cultural history to trigger a mighty release of pent-up frustration with the excesses of the evangelical machine. That's why it's been so vehemently embraced. In this ridiculous joke, secular anger has found its muse -- at least through September.

Here's a thought: Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is just a fad. And so is Intelligent Design. May they waltz off into the ether together.

Touched by his noodly arms

From Post-Gazette.com

What, you hadn't heard? The satirical Flying Spaghetti Monster is an Internet hit. A guy from Oregon named Bobby Henderson wrote to the Kansas State Board of Education -- which may soon permit "intelligent design" to be taught in its science classes -- urging that his theory on the Flying Spaghetti Monster also be included in public schools.

"I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster," he wrote. "I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country and, eventually, the world: one-third time for intelligent design, one-third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one-third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."

Intelligent design -- which says biology's mechanics offer evidence of an unnamed intelligent creator -- gets its day in court next week, when a group of parents from Pennsylvania's Dover Area School District takes on the school board. Last year, the board approved a policy asking teachers to introduce intelligent design to ninth-grade biology students.

Pre-orders for FSM emblems currently accepted at Ring of Fire Enterprises.

Grasshopper Suicide is Proof of Evil Design

Tonight I told Rob that I read about a parasitic worm that lives inside a grasshopper and it ultimately "brainwashes" its host into committing suicide. Rob's comment was, "That's evil design, not intelligent design.

Scientists say hairworms, which live inside grasshoppers, pump the insects with a cocktail of chemicals that makes them commit suicide by leaping into water. The parasites then swim away from their drowning hosts to continue their life cycle.

Other insect behavior includes mating that ends in the death of one partner, baby spiders that eat their mother, and insects that stun their prey and keep it alive while they eat it.

Maybe Karl Rove has been studying the technique of that grasshopper worm? The Bushites have successfully brainwashed about 40% of the American population and they're leading us toward the water.

Ode to the 101st Fighting Keyboardists

Yesterday, DaDa asked, "Where have all the chickenhawks gone."

Here's my response (apologies to Pete Seegar). I've shortened chickenhawks to chickens for expediency.

Where have all the chickens gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the chickens gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the chickens gone?
Gone to hiding everyone.
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

"A CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll released Thursday indicated fewer than half of Americans believe the United States will win the Iraq war, and 55 percent of those surveyed said it should speed up withdrawal plans."

Where have all the chickenhawks gone?

My friend Dada wonders what happened to all the chickenhawks:

"The latest MSNBC poll shows Bush's ratings still sinking. Down to 40%, it's conceivable the president's approval could sink lower than Momma Bush's high horse, crass and insensitive remarks on minorities and the poor in the Houston Astrodome. (Nah, probably not--it can't get any lower than that.)

Sadly, however, it is worthy of note there still exists more than 1 in 3 Americans who can be labelled 'slow learners'. This is pretty frightening when you realize you may be out in public, engaged in small talk with a stranger, and that person could be one of those 38% of the learning disabled who still approve of Bush's handling of the war! Boy, I wish we could get our hands on those fine folks. Our service members would sure appreciate those asses supporting their 'Mission Accomplished - Bring 'em On' war effort in the middle east right now."

More here: Dada's daily dally: Where have all the chickenhawks gone?

Yet Another Virgin Mary Sighting

For Sale on eBay

Laura Bush's Banquet of Shame

Poet, Sharon Olds, has declined to attend the National Book Festival in Washington on September 24, the day of an antiwar mobilization in the capital. She wrote the following letter to Laura Bush:

Laura Bush
First Lady
The White House

Dear Mrs. Bush,

I am writing to let you know why I am not able to accept your kind invitation to give a presentation at the National Book Festival on September 24, or to attend your dinner at the Library of Congress or the breakfast at the White House.

In one way, it's a very appealing invitation. The idea of speaking at a festival attended by 85,000 people is inspiring! The possibility of finding new readers is exciting for a poet in personal terms, and in terms of the desire that poetry serve its constituents--all of us who need the pleasure, and the inner and outer news, it delivers.

And the concept of a community of readers and writers has long been dear to my heart. As a professor of creative writing in the graduate school of a major university, I have had the chance to be a part of some magnificent outreach writing workshops in which our students have become teachers. Over the years, they have taught in a variety of settings: a women's prison, several New York City public high schools, an oncology ward for children. Our initial program, at a 900-bed state hospital for the severely physically challenged, has been running now for twenty years, creating along the way lasting friendships between young MFA candidates and their students--long-term residents at the hospital who, in their humor, courage and wisdom, become our teachers.

When you have witnessed someone nonspeaking and almost nonmoving spell out, with a toe, on a big plastic alphabet chart, letter by letter, his new poem, you have experienced, close up, the passion and essentialness of writing. When you have held up a small cardboard alphabet card for a writer who is completely nonspeaking and nonmoving (except for the eyes), and pointed first to the A, then the B, then C, then D, until you get to the first letter of the first word of the first line of the poem she has been composing in her head all week, and she lifts her eyes when that letter is touched to say yes, you feel with a fresh immediacy the human drive for creation, self-expression, accuracy, honesty and wit--and the importance of writing, which celebrates the value of each person's unique story and song.

So the prospect of a festival of books seemed wonderful to me. I thought of the opportunity to talk about how to start up an outreach program. I thought of the chance to sell some books, sign some books and meet some of the citizens of Washington, DC. I thought that I could try to find a way, even as your guest, with respect, to speak about my deep feeling that we should not have invaded Iraq, and to declare my belief that the wish to invade another culture and another country--with the resultant loss of life and limb for our brave soldiers, and for the noncombatants in their home terrain--did not come out of our democracy but was instead a decision made "at the top" and forced on the people by distorted language, and by untruths. I hoped to express the fear that we have begun to live in the shadows of tyranny and religious chauvinism--the opposites of the liberty, tolerance and diversity our nation aspires to.

I tried to see my way clear to attend the festival in order to bear witness--as an American who loves her country and its principles and its writing--against this undeclared and devastating war.
But I could not face the idea of breaking bread with you. I knew that if I sat down to eat with you, it would feel to me as if I were condoning what I see to be the wild, highhanded actions of the Bush Administration.

What kept coming to the fore of my mind was that I would be taking food from the hand of the First Lady who represents the Administration that unleashed this war and that wills its continuation, even to the extent of permitting "extraordinary rendition": flying people to other countries where they will be tortured for us.

So many Americans who had felt pride in our country now feel anguish and shame, for the current regime of blood, wounds and fire. I thought of the clean linens at your table, the shining knives and the flames of the candles, and I could not stomach it.

Sincerely,

SHARON OLDS

Der GropenFuhrer's Mistress Is Scared

Gigi Goyette is afraid that Schwarzenegger wants her dead for speaking out about their affair.

When Schwarzenegger announced his candidacy for California Governor, National Enquirer editors attempted to silence her from telling anyone else about their relationship.

Goyette fears Schwarzenegger's aides are behind the effort to keep her quiet:

"(Now) he feels that some of the things that went on between us at that time would damage his reputation. I really think it stems from them thinking of those headlines and that story in 2001 that damaged him running at that point.

"They said that he didn't run (then) as a result of that story. They used me as a scapegoat. I don't know what everybody is afraid about because there is nothing damaging."

But Goyette still fears repercussions and has taken to keeping a loaded gun at her home in Malibu, California - because Schwarzenegger is such a powerful person.

She adds, "He's a huge American idol to a lot of people... I've always been fearful that perhaps there would be some retaliation by somebody in his immediate group to come after me or hurt me or my family and for that reason alone I stay very protected and I keep a loaded gun at my house."

More here

John Bolton & Plamegate

Arianna Huffington notes on her blog that John Bolton may be the target of the investigation by Patrick Fitzgerald. She noted in the past that Revoltin' Bolton has visited July Miller in prision.

"So could Ambassador Bolton actually be a target of Pat Fitzgerald's investigation? When considering this question, it's important to keep in mind that he's never been subpoenaed or questioned by the Plamegate grand jury -- and, as a lawyer who does work for the New York Times put it: 'The target of a grand jury investigation would not ordinarily be subpoenaed to testify before the grand jury.'"

More on Arianna's blog.

Pastafarian at the Dada Ball

At least one Pastafarian attended the Dada Ball hosted by The Portland Institute for Contemporary Art's Time-Based Art Festival :

"After 10 days of taking in performances, Saturday night it was the TBA [The Portland Institute for Contemporary Art's Time-Based Art Festival] festivalgoers' chance to get in on the creative action with the return, after a three-year hiatus, of the Dada Ball.

Hundreds of partiers -- wearing sequins, tutus, blinking lights, wings, wigs, plastic and pleather -- packed the late-night Works performance space.

'This is amazing,' said Dada/TBA/PICA newbie Mark Russell, near the wall-collage of past Dada Ball photos. 'And what's really amazing to see is the wonderful range in ages of people, from 21-year-olds up to Howard Shapiro down there, who's catching up to 80. This is a great night.'

Spanglish industrial-rockers Titan fed the dance-hungry. Others took time to inscribe their favorite word on Cheryl Anderson's crossword-puzzle dress or ogle Cindy Bloomfield's gown layered in pages from this year's TBA book.

'Pastafarian' Laura MacDonald, in a Jamaican-flag inspired beanie and a cloak covered in noodles, offered this, (along with a bowl of bow-tie pasta and caramel candy): 'Dada means that you see all, and feel all.' "

Southerners are Blessed

When the Loma Prieta earthquake struck in 1989, a Ben Lomond woman ran out of a store, looked up at the sky and yelled, "Okay, okay, I'll recycle." This is a humorous example of how people react to natural disasters, but in the south they really believe that a cranky old invisible man in the sky holds grudges, punishes his enemies and protects his favorites.

Hurricane Katrina unleashed an avalanche of phrases like: "God Bless" "We are Blessed" and "National Day of Prayer":

From MoJo Blog:

"We are blessed." That was the message Governor Kathleen Blanco gave Louisiana when Hurricane Katrina first hit. The storm had changed from a Category 5 to a Category 4, was moving very quickly north, and had shifted eastward before landing, creating horrendous damage in Mississippi. Until the levees were breached, Louisiana's citizens thought they had been spared a major tragedy yet again.

But if Louisiana was "blessed," the only logical conclusion we can draw is that Mississippi was cursed. It made me cringe every time I heard someone use this language, and it angered me to hear the governor use it. Only yesterday, a radio reporter told the people of Jefferson Parish: "You ought to be thanking God that the levees were breached on the Orleans Parish side."

The language of religion is a powerful one, especially in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama, where Southern Baptist, African Methodist Episcopal, and conservative non-denominational Christian churches are plentiful. In south Louisiana, there is also a very big Catholic population, which includes Governor Blanco.

A few days ago, Blanco, while touring a section of storm-ravaged south Louisiana, told residents that they would never be able to get through the hurricane crisis "without faith." The faith to which she was referring wasn't faith in the government or faith in the strength of community, but religious faith. Though they may fly under the radar, many churchless and non-religious people live in Louisiana, and they were essentially being told by their leader that they had no hope for recovery.

Certainly, in a time of crisis, religious people are going to talk about religion, and I, for one, have no objection to their doing so. I have no objection to the governor's doing so, either, as long as her comments do not cause division among constituents or imply that people in other states somehow wound up on the wrong side of God's favor.(Such thinking isn't even rational within the religious paradigm--why would God spare what is probably the most corrupt state in the nation?)

The problem goes beyond careless statements made by public officials. One of the New Orleans television stations had a psychotherapist on to talk about stress reactions to the hurricane. After she said all of the standard things about dealing with a disaster, she launched into a speech about there "being a reason" for the devastation caused by Katrina. She was careful to be inclusive, and said she was addressing Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists--everyone. It was important, she said, to remember that these things happen "for a reason."

As a licensed psychotherapist, I was stunned by her remarks. I am as metaphysically ignorant as the next human, and do not wish to speculate about the possibility of mystical processes affecting natural phenomena. That is not the issue for me. My concern is that--in a culture in which people are constantly told that they are being punished for their sins--the last thing they need to hear is that there is a Big Reason for their having lost their homes, their jobs, and their loved ones. And bad theology aside, it is a remarkably stupid thing to say to people who have just suffered significant loss and disruption.

It is bad enough that the religious nuts want to blame some of our citizens for causing the hurricane to destroy New Orleans (though that theory does offer some other possibilities). Public officials and members of the clergy and other helping professions would be wise to stop and examine their religious rhetoric before broadcasting it to already victimized people.

Natural disasters do happen for a reason, but the idea that some old supernatural man sits on a cloud and guides hurricanes to specific locations is just idiotic. He's a Flying Spaghetti Monster and he directs hurricanes with his noodly appendages.

May you be protected by his marinara stained, al dente appendages.

Superman: Update

From the Santa Cruz Sentinel:

SANTA CRUZ — Things are looking up these days for Superman.

And he has his owner’s ripped T-shirt and some area animal lovers to thank.

After weathering Hurricane Katrina, then spending the weekend at the Santa Cruz SPCA’s kennel on Seventh Avenue with nine new friends from New Orleans, Superman will be reunited with owner Alkaseem Colar in Houston.

As part of the Hurricane Katrina relief effort, the Santa Cruz SPCA took in 10 dogs Friday night after the canines were flown into San Francisco International Airport and brought here by the Monterey County SPCA.

Superman caught their eye among the tired pooches. He had a tattered, soiled piece of cloth around his neck with phone numbers that allowed volunteers to track down Colar.

Volunteer Keely Gjelsteen called the number on the cloth and left a message with the dog owner’s mother, Marie Colar, who was staying in a hotel in Louisiana.

Eventually, she put the SPCA in touch with her son. Santa Cruz SPCA Executive Director Lisa Carter called Alkaseem with the good news.

Carter first spoke to Alkaseem’s wife, who shouted, "They’ve found Superman!"

That’s just what the family wanted to hear.

"It made me feel so good," Alkaseem Colar said by cell phone from Houston. "It really lifted my spirits."

He immediately asked for directions to where he could pick up his almost 2-year-old companion, not realizing Superman was on the West Coast.

"I said, ‘He’s taking a vacation in our little beach town,’" Carter said.

The turn of events brought smiles in what could have been another sad story of Hurricane Katrina.

Colar said he never wanted to leave without his dog.

He and Superman slogged through blocks of flooded streets in New Orleans, eventually coming to a bridge along Interstate 10, where emergency crews had set up cots and evacuees were waiting for bus rides out of town.

"We had to walk probably a mile through the water," said Colar, 34, who said he plans to stay in Houston at least a year and is looking for work as a welder.

Colar said he watched bus after bus leave the area, but he stayed because he didn’t want to leave Superman behind. Finally, he was told he had to leave — without his dog.

He pulled a T-shirt from his bag, scribbled phone numbers on it, wrapped it around the dog’s neck and left Superman tied to a cot.

That last-minute act led to the reunion.

"I was so happy," Colar said. "I cried when I had to leave him behind, but I always had a feeling I would see him again."

Superman spent part of Tuesday morning getting a bath at Bed and Biscuits in Santa Cruz before the Monterey County SPCA picked him up for a drive to Texas, where the group was heading as part of the relief effort.

The Santa Cruz County SPCA is hoping for a few more miracles like Superman’s. The SPCA is housing the nine other dogs in foster homes after about 20 volunteers worked late hours this weekend getting the dogs prepared.

"For the most part, everybody is healthy," Carter said.

Information about the remaining dogs will be put on the Web site www.petfinder.org.

The local SPCA is working with its Monterey County counterpart, ready for more pets that could arrive, Carter said.

The Santa Cruz County SPCA operates solely on donations. It doesn’t normally house animals at its facility; they usually are housed by county Animal Protective Services, but SPCA continues with adoption and education programs.

Carter said the group could use donations of money, blankets and towels. The Santa Cruz SPCA may be contacted at 465-5000.

Roe v. Wade

Q: What is President Bush's position on Roe vs. Wade?

A: He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.

(I don't think he cared IF people got out.)

Superman Rescued from New Orleans

Several animal rescue organizations have been working to retrieve stranded and abandoned pets in the Gulf Coast area. Most people evacuated from the Superdome were not allowed to bring their companion animals on the busses, but the Houston SPCA reports that many small pets were smuggled on board. People left other items behind, so they could hide a small dog or a cat in a bag. One women even smuggled a bird in her bra.

Some dogs were just too large to be smuggled though and they were left behind. Superman was one of those. KSBW says he is a bulldog mix and KION called him a pit bull.

Regardless of what kind of dog he is, he's a lucky one. KSBW reports:

Superman -- a bulldog mix -- was brought to Santa Cruz along with two dozen dogs that were rescued from New Orleans. This weekend, his owner got a call that he thought he wouldn't get -- his dog is safe and ready to go home.

Alkaseem Colar said he got separated from his dog when he was forced to board an evacuation bus in New Orleans, and his dog had to stay behind. Colar has now relocated to Houston, Texas.
The reunion was made easier because just before Colar boarded the bus, he ripped up a T-shirt, wrote his mother's name and phone number on it, and tied it around the dog's neck. When the dog arrived in Santa Cruz, animal handlers saw the writing and called the owner.

'It was kind of getting rough on me because it had almost been three weeks without seeing him. I worried about him everyday when I got the phone call. (It) made me feel a hell of a lot better,' Colar said.

Colar said his dog isn't registered, but that's what he will do as soon as they are reunited, which could be as early as this week.

The animal shelters in Santa Cruz have received 24 dogs from New Orleans. On Wednesday, they will begin the process of placing the dogs in foster homes. "

The same story from KION:

A New Orleans pit bull named Superman is a long way from home, but will soon be reunited with his owner thanks to a rolled-up T-shirt and a magic marker.

Superman was left behind under a New Orleans freeway overpass when his owner, 34-year-old Alkaseem Colar, joined other Hurricane Katrina survivors on a rescue bus that didn't allow pets.

Colar said he waited until the last minute, spending three days under the overpass and letting as many as 20 buses pass him by in the hopes that one would allow him to bring his dog.

Finally, he gave in and decided to save himself. He took a T-shirt out of one of his bags - which he had carried from his flooded home on foot with Superman swimming behind - and wrote down his name and phone number along with his mother's information.

"I got a pen from another reporter," he said tonight in a phone interview from Houston, where he is staying with his wife.

"The reporter, she wrote it for me while I held the shirt."

He tied the ripped shirt around Superman's neck and said goodbye.

"I cried when I had to leave him because I really didn't want to leave," Colar said.

Colar was taken to Houston and had no more news about Superman until he spoke with his mother.

"When I made it to Houston, my momma told me that she had seen him on CNN," he said.

Colar said Superman had appeared on television with a National Guard soldier, but that after the broadcast he still had no way to locate his pet.

Colar looked on Petfinder.com, a Web site designed to reunite lost pets with their owners, but didn't find Superman.

Meanwhile, Superman somehow ended up in a group of pets that was flown to the Bay Area last week.

His flight landed at San Francisco International Airport around midnight Friday, according to Lisa Carter, executive director of the Santa Cruz SPCA.

Carter said the planeload of pets was part of a coordinated effort by Bay Area animal shelters to assist animals victimized by the hurricane and reunite them with their owners.

Superman and nine other dogs from that flight were taken to Santa Cruz, where they were let out of their travel crates for the first time in about 24 hours.

"You could see that they were really relieved," said 16-year-old Santa Cruz SPCA worker Keely Gjelsteen.

In addition to being tired and antsy, the dogs were dirty from having been stranded in the flooded city.

"They were pretty nasty and disgusting looking," Gjelsteen said.

While the animals were being processed, Gjelsteen said she noticed the rolled-up T-shirt tied around Superman's neck, and as she undid the cloth, she saw that it had been written on with blue permanent marker.

Colar's name had worn off, but Gjelsteen was able to call his mother Marie, and the news was then passed on to Colar.

"That was some of the best news I'd heard," he said.

"I can't wait to see Supe. I know he's gonna go crazy when he sees me."

Superman will be driven to Houston by the Monterey SPCA, which is headed that way anyway to provide relief to overwhelmed workers at a Houston shelter, Carter said.

The other nine dogs at the Santa Cruz SPCA are being taken to local foster homes and their profiles will be posted on Petfinder.com, according to Carter, who said finding foster homes has been easy.

"The community support has been amazing," she said.

Blackbeard's flag flies high today

The Daily Texan is celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day:

"It's even been recognized as a holy day of the satirical religion Pastafarianism. The followers of said religion insist that the world was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster, wear pirate regalia when explaining His teachings and blame global warming on the drop in the pirate population."

Is this America?

Paris' Le Monde in an editorial:

The entire world watched as American women and children wailed for help, as sick people expired of thirst on hot sidewalks. Such scenes of blacks fleeing devastation and despair are familiar from Somalia or Angola. Yet the images came from the world's richest country.

"America is discovering or rediscovering, that it harbors the Third World in its own bosom."

The national shame must surely prompt some soul searching.

"Is it reasonable to spend hundreds of millions to wage war on Iraq when America can't even protect its own citizens?"

America's Tarnished Image

"We watched the richest country in the world let its poor die like animals. It's beyond dispute that the U.S. had the means to rescue the hurricane victims. It simply lacked the will.

"That the largest and most modern army in the world was so inefficient can only be blamed on leaders of doubtful competence."

America's image "has been tarnished as never before."

While I agree with the sentiments of these editorial statements that appeared in Madrid's La Razon, I would like to point out that helpless animals also died as a result of the administration's incompetence and a country that supports a barbaric sport like bull-fighting could stand some self-criticism too.

The Press Wakes the Sheeple

"The president's indifference was so apparent, and so appalling, that it roused the American press from its patriotic torpor," said Annette Levy-Willard in Liberation.

She goes on to report that American television news, normally so conformist and excessively respectful of power, finally dared to question the administration's lies. Networks used split screens to reveal the truth: On one side, an administration official saying everything was fine, on the other, images of old people and the poor clinging to rooftops, dying of thirst.

Rather than serving corporate goals, American television performed a public service. It lived up to the mission of the press to defend the poor and criticize the political class. If such zeal lasts after the flood waters ebb, Americans could have a long overdue political awakening.

Bush: Lacks Gravitas

Howard Jacobson opined in the London Independent that a little compassion from Bush would have gone a long way, but Bush can't even fake it.

"No light of humanity in the eyes. No gravitas on the face." The only emotion he could muster is defensiveness.

Bush's Deer-in-the-Headlights Look

Stefan Kornelius in Munich's Suddeutsche Zeitung asks, "Remember that deer-in-the-headlights look when Bush was informed of the 9/11 attacks?"

He goes on to point out that Bush seemed just as helpless in this second national crisis and that he showed the same political denseness.

Just as he kept reading a story to schoolchildren while thousands of Americans were burning to death in the twin towers, he kept smiling and joking as floods engulfed whole cities.

"It is slowly dawning on them that tough talk and the profligate use of military power are no substitute for true leadership."

Hurricane Katrina and our National Image

Philippe Grangereau in Paris wrote in the paper, Liberation that Hurricane Katrina revealed the true character of George W. Bush, the least hard-working American president in history, who continued playing at his Texas ranch while his fellow citizens drowned and starved in New Orleans. He noted that most Americans get only two weeks of vacation, if that, but the president had been riding his bike, chopping wood and fund-raising for five weeks.

When he finally grudgingly cut his revelry short by a couple of days and traveled to the devastated Gulf Coast, it was too late. America, and the world, had already seen that the superpower's leader lacks leadership.

It's been said that Bush's staff were afraid to suggest that he cut his vacation short because he tends to be irritable (side-effect of the drug he's on) and I would add that if Bush had been watching or reading the news, he'd have learned what the rest of us knew about the suffering in the wake of Katrina and the need for some engaged, compassionate behavior from a leader who doesn't have leadership skills. It should be noted too that his brain, Karl "Slime" Rove was in the hospital with a kidney stone.

Frank Rich is Awesome

Here are some excerpts from his column:

The worst storm in our history proved perfect for exposing this president because in one big blast it illuminated all his failings: the rampant cronyism, the empty sloganeering of "compassionate conservatism," the lack of concern for the "underprivileged" his mother condescended to at the Astrodome, the reckless lack of planning for all government operations except tax cuts, the use of spin and photo-ops to camouflage failure and to substitute for action.

In the chaos unleashed by Katrina, these plot strands coalesced into a single tragic epic played out in real time on television. The narrative is just too powerful to be undone now by the administration's desperate recycling of its greatest hits: a return Sunshine Boys tour by the surrogate empathizers Clinton and Bush I, another round of prayers at the Washington National Cathedral, another ludicrously overhyped prime-time address flecked with speechwriters' "poetry" and framed by a picturesque backdrop. Reruns never eclipse a riveting new show.

Nor can the president's acceptance of "responsibility" for the disaster dislodge what came before. Mr. Bush didn't cough up his modified-limited mea culpa until he'd seen his whole administration flash before his eyes. His admission that some of the buck may stop with him (about a dime's worth, in Truman dollars) came two weeks after the levees burst and five years after he promised to usher in a new post-Clinton "culture of responsibility." It came only after the plan to heap all the blame on the indeed blameworthy local Democrats failed to lift Mr. Bush's own record-low poll numbers. It came only after America's highest-rated TV news anchor, Brian Williams, started talking about Katrina the way Walter Cronkite once did about Vietnam.

Taking responsibility, as opposed to paying lip service to doing so, is not in this administration's gene pool. It was particularly shameful that Laura Bush was sent among the storm's dispossessed to try to scapegoat the news media for her husband's ineptitude. When she complained of seeing "a lot of the same footage over and over that isn't necessarily representative of what really happened," the first lady sounded just like Donald Rumsfeld shirking responsibility for the looting of Baghdad. The defense secretary, too, griped about seeing the same picture "over and over" on television (a looter with a vase) to hide the reality that the Pentagon had no plan to secure Iraq, a catastrophic failure being paid for in Iraqi and American blood to this day.

...

But even now the administration's priority of image over substance is embedded like a cancer in the Katrina relief process. Brazenly enough, Mr. Rove has been officially put in charge of the reconstruction effort. The two top deputies at FEMA remaining after Michael Brown's departure, one of them a former local TV newsman, are not disaster relief specialists but experts in P.R., which they'd practiced as advance men for various Bush campaigns. Thus The Salt Lake Tribune discovered a week after the hurricane that some 1,000 firefighters from Utah and elsewhere were sent not to the Gulf Coast but to Atlanta, to be trained as "community relations officers for FEMA" rather than used as emergency workers to rescue the dying in New Orleans. When 50 of them were finally dispatched to Louisiana, the paper reported, their first assignment was "to stand beside President Bush" as he toured devastated areas.

WHEN there's money on the line, cronies always come first in this White House, no matter how great the human suffering. After Katrina, the FEMA Web site directing charitable contributions prominently listed Operation Blessing, a Pat Robertson kitty that, according to I.R.S. documents obtained by ABC News, has given more than half of its yearly cash donations to Mr. Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network. If FEMA is that cavalier about charitable donations, imagine what it's doing with the $62 billion (so far) of taxpayers' money sent its way for Katrina relief. Actually, you don't have to imagine: we already know some of it was immediately siphoned into no-bid contracts with a major Republican donor, the Fluor Corporation, as well as with a client of the consultant Joe Allbaugh, the Bush 2000 campaign manager who ran FEMA for this White House until Brownie, Mr. Allbaugh's college roommate, was installed in his place.

It was back in 2000 that Mr. Bush, in a debate with Al Gore, bragged about his gubernatorial prowess "on the front line of catastrophic situations," specifically citing a Texas flood, and paid the Clinton administration a rare compliment for putting a professional as effective as James Lee Witt in charge of FEMA. Exactly why Mr. Bush would staff that same agency months later with political hacks is one of many questions that must be answered by the independent investigation he and the Congressional majority are trying every which way to avoid. With or without a 9/11-style commission, the answers will come out. There are too many Americans who are angry and too many reporters who are on the case. (NBC and CNN are both opening full-time bureaus in New Orleans.) You know the world has changed when the widely despised news media have a far higher approval rating (77 percent) than the president (46 percent), as measured last week in a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll.

But go read the rest here.

Karl Rove Off the Record

The master of slime spoke off the record per The Huffington Post:

"Karl Rove, President Bush's top political advisor and deputy White House chief of staff, spoke at businessman Teddy Forstmann's annual off the record gathering in Aspen, Colorado this weekend. Here is what Rove had to say that the press wasn't allowed to report on.

On Katrina: The only mistake we made with Katrina was not overriding the local government...

On The Anti-War Movement: Cindy Sheehan is a clown. There is no real anti-war movement. No serious politician, with anything to do with anything, would show his face at an anti-war rally...

On Bush's Low Poll Numbers: We have not been good at explaining the success in Iraq. Polls go up and down and don't mean anything...

On Iraq: There has been a big difference in the region. Iraq will transform the Middle East...

On Judy Miller And Plamegate: Judy Miller is in jail for reasons I don't really understand...

On Joe Wilson: Joe Wilson and I attend the same church but Joe goes to the wacky mass...

In attendance at the conference, among others were: Harvey Weinstein, Brad Grey, Michael Eisner, Les Moonves, Tom Freston, Tom Friedman, Bob Novak, Barry Diller, Martha Stewart, Margaret Carlson, Alan Greenspan, Andrea Mitchell, Norman Pearlstein and Walter Isaacson."

Success in Iraq? Is Rove as delusional as Bush or is he just lying?

Think we're overextended with the Iraq War and repairing Katrina's damage? Well, you ain't seen nothing yet. Just wait till we start bombing Syria.

Dr. Zalmay Khalilzad, the US Ambassador to Iraq, made the off the record prediction that the US will go into Syria to combat insurgents that have been using the country as a staging ground for terrorist activity in Iraq.

Mission Accomplished Part Deux

Home on the Ranch where the Skies are not cloudy all day

Sell the ranch.

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Nobel Prize Winners Support Teaching Evolution

Thirty-eight Nobel laureates led by Holocaust survivor and noted author Elie Wiesel have turned their attention to the Kansas State Board of Education.

The Nobel Prize winners are asking the board to reject science standards that criticize evolution.

In a letter to the board released Thursday, the group of leading scientists and thinkers from around the world said Darwinian evolution was the foundation of biology.

“ ... its indispensable role has been further strengthened by the capacity to study DNA,” the group wrote.

The conservative majority on the State Board of Education have accepted science standards that were proposed by proponents of intelligent design, which holds that the complexities of life point toward evidence of a master planner. A final vote on the standards is expected in October or November.

The Nobel winners, however, said intelligent design could not be tested as a scientific theory “because its central conclusion is based on belief in the intervention of a supernatural agent.”

The group said it wanted to defend science and reject “efforts by the proponents of so-called intelligent design to politicize scientific inquiry.”

More here...

Voltaire Quote

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets. - Voltaire

Bush Family Values

CNN.com - Gov. Bush's son arrested - Sep 16, 2005:

"- The youngest son of Florida Gov. Jeb Bush was arrested early Friday and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest, law enforcement officials said.

John Ellis Bush, 21, was arrested by agents of the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission at 2:30 a.m. on a corner of Austin's Sixth Street bar district, said commission spokesman Roger Wade.
The nephew of President Bush was released on $2,500 bond for the resisting arrest charge, and on a personal recognizance bond for the public intoxication charge, officials said."

It's in their genes.

Biblical Absurdities

George W. Bush held a day of prayer for the victims of hurricane Katrina and I don't want to sound uncaring, I've cried as I've watched the coverage and I wish only the best for the people and animals who survived that catastrophe, but what good is praying going to do?

If prayers were effective, the hurricane wouldn't have caused any damage, at all?

So, in honor of Bush's day of prayer and all Bible literalists, we found the following Skeptic's Annotated Bible, from the book of Genesis and copied the first 10 items:

1. God creates light and separates light from darkness, and day from night, on the first day. Yet he didn't make the light producing objects (the sun and the stars) until the fourth day (1:14-19). 1:3-5

2 God spends one-sixth of his entire creative effort (the second day) working on a solid firmament. This strange structure, which God calls heaven, is intended to separate the higher waters from the lower waters. 1:6-8

3 Plants are made on the third day before there was a sun to drive their photosynthetic processes (1:14-19). 1:11

4 In an apparent endorsement of astrology, God places the sun, moon, and stars in the firmament so that they can be used "for signs". This, of course, is exactly what astrologers do: read "the signs" in the Zodiac in an effort to predict what will happen on Earth. 1:14

5. "He made the stars also." God spends a day making light (before making the stars) and separating light from darkness; then, at the end of a hard day's work, and almost as an afterthought, he makes the trillions of stars. 1:16

6. "And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth." 1:17

7. God commands us to "be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over ... every living thing that moveth upon the earth." 1:28

8. God makes the animals and parades them before Adam to see if any would strike his fancy. But none seem to have what it takes to please him. (Although he was tempted to go for the sheep.) After making the animals, God has Adam name them all. The naming of several million species must have kept Adam busy for a while. 2:18-20

9. God's clever, talking serpent. 3:1

10. God walks and talks (to himself?) in the garden, and plays a little hide and seek with Adam and Eve. 3:8-11

More Absurdities in the Bible here...

Pope Hosts Exorcists - I'm Not Joking

Reuters reports:

"At the end of his weekly general audience Wednesday Pope Benedict greeted Italian exorcists who, he disclosed, are currently holding their national convention.

The Pope encouraged them to "carry on their important work in the service of the Church."

WTF?

GOP Nixes Independent Investigations

The GOP aid Bush with cover-ups. On a party line vote, Congress declined to conduct an INDEPENDENT investigation into the White House's role in outing Valerie Plame (CIA official).

"Had the resolutions of inquiry been adopted, they would have lead to the first independent congressional inquiries of the Plame affair, and perhaps even the public testimony of senior Bush administration aides, such as Karl Rove, the White House deputy chief of staff, and I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby, the chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney, about their personal roles."

Cat Killer Frist and GOP Repugs blocked an INDEPENDENT investigation into the government's poor response to the Katrina victims:

Senate Republicans on Wednesday scuttled an attempt by Sen. Hillary Clinton to establish an independent, bipartisan panel patterned after the 9/11 Commission to investigate what went wrong with federal, state and local governments' response to Hurricane Katrina.

The New York Democrat's bid to establish the panel — which would have also made recommendations on how to improve the government's disaster response apparatus — failed to win the two-thirds majority needed to overcome procedural hurdles. Clinton got only 44 votes, all from Democrats and independent Sen. Jim Jeffords of Vermont. Fifty-four Republicans all voted no.

I suppose they think that if they only conduct partisan inquiries cover-ups they can save Bush's image and achieve some of their fat-cat tax-cutting goals, privatize social security, etc. Meanwhile, Bush's poll numbers are falling.

The hurricane, alone, does not appear to have taken any significant toll on Mr. Bush's overall job approval rating, which remains stuck virtually where it has been since early summer. But the findings do suggest that the slow federal response to the hurricane has increased public doubts about the Bush administration's effectiveness. Fifty-six percent of Americans said they were now less confident about the government's ability to respond to a terrorist attack or natural disaster.

Faith based religious idiots still believe in him, though, proving that they are as out of touch with reality as he is.

Mr. Bush's support remained strong among Republicans, conservatives, evangelical Christians and those who said they voted for him last fall.

Nearly twice as many people - 63 percent - said the country was "pretty seriously" on the wrong track as those who said it was headed in the right direction, equal to the worst level of Mr. Bush's presidency during a spate of bad news last year.

More Flying Spaghetti Monsterism

Freezerbox Magazine - Flying Spaghetti Monsterism:

"The Intelligent Design movement continues to press ahead, determined to undo the theory of evolution, which is quite simply the greatest intellectual achievement of humankind. The theory of evolution has allowed us not just to explain our own origins and our relationship to the species around us, but also the origins of war, the origins of morality, and the emergence of markets and capitalism.

But, really, who needs all that?

If, however, we are going to teach intelligent design, we should do so fairly, which means we should give equal time to both creationists and adherents of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Flying Spaghetti Monsterism holds that the earth was created by a flying spaghetti monster, and that when we die we go a heaven with strippers and a beer volcano. Awesome! The Church was founded after the Kansas School Board temporarily lost its mind and voted to teach Creationism."

Flying Spaghetti Monster car emblems are being produced by Ring of Fire. We expect them to be ready to ship near the end of October. We're also going to make the Pirate fish. (Yes, yes, I realize I'm repeating myself but people keep emailing these questions to me.)

End of the Bush Era

E.J. Dionne says Bush is done for.

"The Bush Era is over. The sooner politicians in both parties realize that, the better for them -- and the country.

Recent months, and especially the past two weeks, have brought home to a steadily growing majority of Americans the truth that President Bush's government doesn't work. His policies are failing, his approach to leadership is detached and self-indulgent, his way of politics has produced a divided, angry and dysfunctional public square. We dare not go on like this."

I saw a report yesterday and failed to capture a citation for the blog, but the article reported on the recent violence in Iraq and said that atrocities had been committed. One example provided was that a child was killed and booby trapped so that her parents would also be killed when they discovered her.

One of the many excuses for invading Iraq, was to remove that awful dictator. They implied that life would be better without him. Anyone see an improvement?

I've heard so many reasons why George Dumbya Bush invaded Iraq that I can't recall what the most recent one was. A troll commented on this blog recently that Bush attacked Iraq to keep the terrorists from attacking us here at home. I guess that didn't work out so well for Tony Blair, did it?

If this is the end of the Bush era, it's about damn time.

And so the Bush Era ended definitively on Sept. 2, the day Bush first toured the Gulf Coast States after Hurricane Katrina. There was no magic moment with a bullhorn. The utter failure of federal relief efforts had by then penetrated the country's consciousness. Yesterday's resignation of FEMA Director Michael Brown put an exclamation point on the failure.

The source of Bush's political success was his claim that he could protect Americans. Leadership, strength and security were Bush's calling cards. Over the past two weeks, they were lost in the surging waters of New Orleans.

But the first intimations of the end of the Bush Era came months ago. The president's post-election fixation on privatizing part of Social Security showed how out of touch he was. The more Bush discussed this boutique idea cooked up in conservative think tanks and Wall Street imaginations, the less the public liked it. The situation in Iraq deteriorated. The glorious economy Bush kept touting turned out not to be glorious for many Americans. The Census Bureau's annual economic report, released in the midst of the Gulf disaster, found that an additional 4.1 million Americans had slipped into poverty between 2001 and 2004.

The federal budget, already a mess before Katrina, is now a laughable document. Those who call for yet more tax cuts risk sounding like robots droning automated talking points programmed inside them long ago. Katrina has forced the issue of deep poverty back onto the national agenda after a long absence. Finding a way forward in -- and eventually out of -- Iraq will require creativity from those not implicated in the administration's mistakes. And if ever the phrase "reinventing government" had relevance, it is now that we have observed the performance of a government that allows political hacks to push aside the professionals.

And what of Bush, who has more than three years left in his term? Paradoxically, his best hope lies in recognizing that the Bush Era, as he and we have known it, really is gone. He can decide to help us in the transition to what comes next. Or he can cling stubbornly to his past and thereby doom himself to frustrating irrelevance.

Update: Here's a reference to that report of atrocities in Iraq:

GRAPHIC claims of atrocities in Iraq emerged yesterday, including the booby-trapping of a murdered child's body, as a new wave of violence claimed more than 120 lives.

Tampa Bay Notices Flying Spaghetti Monster

TampaBay.com - Hot Topics:

"Google Flying Spaghetti Monster and you'll see that Bobby Henderson's answer to intelligent design is an Internet hit. His Web site, www.venganza.org has received more than 2.6 million visits in just a few months. "

GOP: Good Old Pigs Feeding at the Public Trough

I've been working a lot lately and have been too tired to blog much, but I want to thank all of you who've sent articles and who have replied to comments made by the trolls who've been hanging around lately. One troll is an anonymous Libertarian and the other James, is a member of the GOP. I assume that both are proponents of small government and, as supporters of the Bush crime family, they are probably pleased to see more of their tax dollars going into the pockets of the fat cats at Halliburton et al. No one on the GOP side of the aisle seems to be concerned about the overcharges taking place in Iraq, so they probably will be happy to turn their heads while Halliburton makes out like a bandit once again. We, the working people are paying for this, because as you know and as Bush once pointed out the wealthy don't pay taxes.

(Thanks to Doug for sending a link to this article.)

" Companies with ties to the Bush White House and the former head of FEMA are clinching some of the administration's first disaster relief and reconstruction contracts in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

At least two major corporate clients of lobbyist Joe Allbaugh, President George W. Bush's former campaign manager and a former head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, have already been tapped to start recovery work along the battered Gulf Coast.

One is Shaw Group Inc. and the other is Halliburton Co. subsidiary Kellogg Brown and Root. Vice President Dick Cheney is a former head of Halliburton.

Bechtel National Inc., a unit of San Francisco-based Bechtel Corp., has also been selected by FEMA to provide short-term housing for people displaced by the hurricane. Bush named Bechtel's CEO to his Export Council and put the former CEO of Bechtel Energy in charge of the Overseas Private Investment Corporation.

But the web of Bush administration connections is attracting renewed attention from watchdog groups in the post-Katrina reconstruction rush. Congress has already appropriated more than $60 billion in emergency funding as a down payment on recovery efforts projected to cost well over $100 billion.

"The government has got to stop stacking senior positions with people who are repeatedly cashing in on the public trust in order to further private commercial interests," said Danielle Brian, executive director of the Project on Government Oversight."

Halliburton's bilking of public coffers is becoming so commonplace, it's hardly news any more.

UPDATE from The Onion courtesy of BlackbirdCD. :

HOUSTON—On Tuesday, Halliburton received a $110 million no-bid government contract to pry the gold fillings from the mouths of deceased disaster victims in the New Orleans-Gulf Coast area. "We are proud to serve the government in this time of crisis by recovering valuable resources from the wreckage of this deadly storm," said David J. Lesar, Halliburton's president. "The gold we recover from the human rubble of Katrina can be used to make fighter-jet electronics, supercomputer chips, inflation-proof A-grade investments, and luxury yachting watches."

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Pirates and global warming

It's been said that laughter is an effective balm to tragedy and despair. In that spirit, I would like to share a novel theory about the cause of natural disasters that has turned up in an unexpected place.

In a submission this summer to the Kansas State Board of Education, an Oregon man sought equal consideration of his "religion" as part of the board's controversial decision to allow intelligent design to be taught in state schools along with the natural selection theory of evolution. In describing his belief system, Bobby Henderson wrote:

"You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature."

To give this startling and heretofore uncontemplated syllogism your full consideration, perhaps you should know a bit more about Mr. Henderson's religion. He writes:

"Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him."

To learn more about this "faith" and its growing number of adherents, sometimes referred to as Pastafarans, visit Talk Like a Pirate Day .

Whether this resurgence of interest in swashbucklers and privateers has any effect on global warming and natural disasters, matey, is a matter of conjecture...or faith. Arrrrrgh!

Flying Spaghetti Monster: in the UK

Telegraph News in the UK

"In recent weeks, a satirical attack on the teaching of Creationism in American schools has become the world's fastest growing 'religion'. The Noodly Saviour looked at the furore He had created and pronounced it good, writes James Langton

For a growing band of devoted followers, He is the Supreme Being; creator of the universe and all living things. To the rest of us, the Flying Spaghetti Monster looks like a giant heap of pasta and meatballs topped with eyeballs on stalks. As it turns out, both interpretations are correct.

In the past few weeks, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has become perhaps the world's fastest-growing 'religion' and maybe its most improbable. While no one can be sure of the exact numbers of 'Pastafarians', as acolytes are called, they may number in the millions.

In the past few weeks, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has become perhaps the world's fastest-growing "religion" and maybe its most improbable. While no one can be sure of the exact numbers of "Pastafarians", as acolytes are called, they may number in the millions."

Flying Spaghetti Monster emblems are in production (expected near the end of October) by Ring of Fire where pre-orders are being taken.

So Where Was Cheney When Katrina Hit?

Nora Ephron has an interesting theory about why Cheney didn't bail Gee Dumbya out when Katrina struck.

"For some time I've been wondering whether anyone is going to explain the true mystery of what happened after Hurricane Katrina struck. I read thousands of words on the subject in this morning’s New York Times, and I still don’t get it. Where was the President? And more to the point, where was the Vice President?

And don’t tell me Crawford Texas and on a ranch in Wyoming. For days there was an absolute vacuum at the top. Why? What was going on?

You’ll be happy to hear that I have a theory. Is it possible that the President and the Vice President have fallen out? I mean, I’m just asking. But if you remember September 11, 2001 -- and I’m sure you do -- the President had no idea what to do, but the Vice President did. The Vice President took over. He didn’t even consult with the President. He put the President on Air Force One and the President spent the day flying from one airport to another, which was something that even the President eventually understood made him look as if he wasn’t in charge.

It’s always been clear to me that five years ago, when all those Republican guys got together and realized that George Bush could be elected president – and that he wasn’t remotely capable – they came to an understanding: they would walk him through it. I’m sure it seemed like a swell idea, especially because it meant that they’d be in a perfect position to convince him to do all sorts of exciting things they had always wanted to do.

Cheney was the point man. Cheney was the guy they put on Meet the Press. Cheney was the person who seemed always to be the first responder. Cheney was the official they put into the bunker last May when a plane flew too close to the White House; Bush, who was bicycling in Maryland, wasn’t even told about the episode until forty minutes after it was over. Even Laura Bush, who was in the bunker with Cheney, publicly questioned the decision to keep the President in the dark.

But if you look at the chart in Sunday's New York Times, which tells you who was where when Katrina struck, Cheney doesn’t even get a listing. It’s Bush, Chertoff, Brown. Bush I and Bill Clinton were summoned to help. But Cheney didn’t even turn up back in Washington until last week, when he was sent off for a day of spouting platitudes while touring the flood zone.

Like the curious incident of the dog that didn’t bark in the famous Sherlock Holmes story, Cheney’s the missing person in this event, and one has to wonder why. If he were a woman, I would guess he’d been busy recovering from a face-lift, but he’s not. So I can only suppose that something has gone wrong. Could the President be irritated that Cheney helped con him into Iraq? Oh, all right, probably not. Could Cheney – and not just his aides -- possibly be involved in the Valerie Plame episode? Is Cheney not speaking to Karl Rove? Does the airplane/bicycle incident figure into this in any way? And how is it possible that the President is off on vacation and the Vice President is too? Not that it matters that much if the President is on vacation; on some level, the President is always on vacation. But where was Cheney?

Just asking. "

Fourth Anniversary of 9/11

To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:

On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?

How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?

That's right. Horse shows.

I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us in case of an emergency or catastrophe.

I want you to put aside your self-affixed label of Republican/conservative/born-again/capitalist/ditto-head/right-winger and just talk to me as an American, on the common ground we both call America.

Are we safer now than before 9/11? When you learn that behind the horse show runner, the #2 and #3 men in charge of emergency preparedness have zero experience in emergency preparedness, do you think we are safer?

When you look at Michael Chertoff, the head of Homeland Security, a man with little experience in national security, do you feel secure?

When men who never served in the military and have never seen young men die in battle send our young people off to war, do you think they know how to conduct a war? Do they know what it means to have your legs blown off for a threat that was never there?

Do you really believe that turning over important government services to private corporations has resulted in better services for the people?

Why do you hate our federal government so much? You have voted for politicians for the past 25 years whose main goal has been to de-fund the federal government. Do you think that cutting federal programs like FEMA and the Army Corps of Engineers has been good or bad for America? GOOD OR BAD?

With the nation's debt at an all-time high, do you think tax cuts for the rich are still a good idea? Will you give yours back so hundreds of thousands of homeless in New Orleans can have a home?

Do you believe in Jesus? Really? Didn't he say that we would be judged by how we treat the least among us? Hurricane Katrina came in and blew off the facade that we were a nation with liberty and justice for all. The wind howled and the water rose and what was revealed was that the poor in America shall be left to suffer and die while the President of the United States fiddles and tells them to eat cake.

That's not a joke. The day the hurricane hit and the levees broke, Mr. Bush, John McCain and their rich pals were stuffing themselves with cake. A full day after the levees broke (the same levees whose repair funding he had cut), Mr. Bush was playing a guitar some country singer gave him. All this while New Orleans sank under water.

It would take ANOTHER day before the President would do a flyover in his jumbo jet, peeking out the widow at the misery 2500 feet below him as he flew back to his second home in DC. It would then be TWO MORE DAYS before a trickle of federal aid and troops would arrive. This was no seven minutes in a sitting trance while children read "My Pet Goat" to him. This was FOUR DAYS of doing nothing other than saying "Brownie (FEMA director Michael Brown), you're doing a heck of a job!"

My Republican friends, does it bother you that we are the laughing stock of the world?

And on this sacred day of remembrance, do you think we honor or shame those who died on 9/11/01? If we learned nothing and find ourselves today every bit as vulnerable and unprepared as we were on that bright sunny morning, then did the 3,000 die in vain?

Our vulnerability is not just about dealing with terrorists or natural disasters. We are vulnerable and unsafe because we allow one in eight Americans to live in horrible poverty. We accept an education system where one in six children never graduate and most of those who do can't string a coherent sentence together. The middle class can't pay the mortgage or the hospital bills and 45 million have no health coverage whatsoever.

Are we safe? Do you really feel safe? You can only move so far out and build so many gated communities before the fruit of what you've sown will be crashing through your walls and demanding retribution. Do you really want to wait until that happens? Or is it your hope that if they are left alone long enough to soil themselves and shoot themselves and drown in the filth that fills the street that maybe the problem will somehow go away?

I know you know better. You gave the country and the world a man who wasn't up for the job and all he does is hire people who aren't up for the job. You did this to us, to the world, to the people of New Orleans. Please fix it. Bush is yours. And you know, for our peace and safety and security, this has to be fixed. What do you propose?

I have an idea, and it isn't a horse show.

Yours,
Michael Moore via Candi (thanks Candi).

Bush's Plan to Start Nookyooler War

Pentagon Studies Pre-Emptive Nuclear Strikes - New York Times:

"The Pentagon is preparing new guidelines governing the use of nuclear weapons that foresee possible pre-emptive strikes against terrorist groups or nations planning to use unconventional weapons against the United States. "

Now who would the target be? Oh I dunno. IRAN?!

If we survive this insane administration's reign, I'll be surprised. These crazy religious nutjobs are trying to bring about armageddon. Gee Dubya's drug addled brain is probably receiving messages from some supernatural being.

Inside Bay Area Finds Flying Spaghetti Monster

Inside Bay Area - Bay Area Living:

"IS THE super-intelligent, super-popular god known as the Flying Spaghetti Monster any match for the prophets of intelligent design?

This month, the Kansas State Board of Education gave preliminary approval to allow teaching alternatives to evolution such as intelligent design (the theory that a smart being designed the universe). President Bush and Sen. Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) both gave the thumbs up to teaching intelligent design.

The New Scientist magazine wrote an article. So did Die Welt. Two online encyclopedias, Uncyclopedia and Wikipedia, wrote entries on the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The Web site Boingboing.net mounted a challenge: "We are willing to pay any individual $250,000 if they can produce empirical evidence which proves that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster."

Now, Henderson says on his Web site, "over 10 million people have been touched by His Noodly Appendage." But what does that mean? When push comes to shove, will the religion that has come to be known as Pastafarianism do what it was intended to do — prove that it is ridiculous to teach intelligent design as science?

Henderson, who said in an e-mail message that his divine vision was induced by "a lack of sleep and a mounting disgust over the whole ID issue," has wit on his side. His god not only resembles human brains (proof, a fan writes, that "we were created in His image") but also looks like the kind of bacteria that proponents of intelligent design hold up as too complex to be the work of evolution alone.

Two dozen academics have endorsed the pasta god. Three members of the Kansas board who already opposed teaching intelligent design wrote kind letters to Henderson. Dozens of people have posted their sightings of the deity (along with some hilarious pictures). One woman even wrote in to say that she had "conceived the spirit of our Divine Lord," the Flying Spaghetti Monster, while eating alone at the Olive Garden.

Parody is a lot of fun. But has anyone ever converted to a parody religion?

The history books show that parody isn't always the smartest strategy when it comes to persuasion. Remember Galileo? Some recent scholars say that it may not have been his science so much as his satire, "Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems," that got everyone steamed up. Under threat of death, Galileo ended up recanting his view that the earth revolves around the sun, and had to wait 350 years for vindication.

And yet the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster flourishes. It even has schisms. A rival faction, based on SPAM (Spaghetti & Pulsar Activating Meatballs), has formed. And there's bickering, Henderson said in an e-mail message, about whether the god is made of spaghetti or linguini. Those people, he noted, "give me a headache."

Car emblems are in production and pre-orders are accepted at Ring of Fire.

Wichita Eagle Sees Flying Spaghetti Monster

Wichita Eagle 08/28/2005 Evolution debate spawns a saucy monster:

"Move over, Darwin. Stand aside, Intelligent Design.

The idea that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world is demanding equal time in Kansas biology classrooms.

In his corner are three moderate state school board members and a prominent Topeka attorney. They say this concept makes about as much sense as proposed science standards, favored by the board's religious conservative majority, that encourage schools to criticize evolution while they teach it."

Flying Spaghetti Monster in Eugene, Oregon

The Register-Guard, Eugene, Oregon, USA:

"In the beginning there was ... pasta.

And it was good. Tasty, even, if you happen to be a 'pastafarian' who believes the universe was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. "

Flying Spaghetti Monster in Washington, D.C.

Column: Evolution versus flying spaghetti - GW Hatchet - Opinions:

"I stumbled onto the Web site for the Flying Spaghetti Monster and was simultaneously angered and inspired. His Noodly Appendage was clearly the creator of heaven and earth, but why had I heard nothing about Him from my public high school biology teachers? Why was I never told that Darwin might be wrong, and that I may have in fact been created by a higher being with meatballs for eyes? "

Flying Spaghetti Monster Appears in ASU Web Devil

ASU Web Devil - Lewkowitz: Trumping evolutionism:

"In his letter to the Kansas Board of Education, Henderson cites a graph that conclusively links the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the rise in overall global temperature.

Henderson explains that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is angered at the catastrophic decrease in the seafaring pirate population over the last two hundred years. His graph clearly illustrates the inverse relationship between the decrease in the number of seafaring pirates and the rise of global temperature since 1800.

If the world does not increase the pirate population soon, His Noodleness will boil the seas, and we will all die."

Pastafarians in the News in Detroit

Waiting for a leader (Metro Times Detroit):

"Bobby Henderson deserves the thanks of every thinking person in this country. When the idiots on the Kansas Board of Education voted to give "intelligent design" equal time with evolution in class, he formally requested that "Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSM)" be given equal time as well. According to his "Pastafarian" dogma, of which he is the prophet, global warming and hurricanes are caused by the decline in the numbers of pirates since the 1800s, and salvation can come only to those who are touched by "His Noodly Appendage."

Worship and learn at www.venganza.org.

Dozens of scientists have written to say that FSM makes far more sense than Intelligent Design.

George W. Bush, by the way, says he thinks students should be exposed to "all theories," presumably including marinara.

When all else fails, parody is sometimes the perfect antidote."

Sea Otters and Penguins Evacuated to Monterey

Two sea otters and several penguins arrived here (Monterey Aquarium) from New Orleans today.

During the fur trade of the 18th and 19th centuries, southern sea otters were hunted to near extinction. Today only about 2,200 otters can be found off California's central coast. Since January 1977, US Fish and Wildlife Service has placed sea otters on the Endangered Species list so they are protected by state and federal laws.

A fun thing to do is cruise the Elkhorn Slough with Capt. Yohn where you can get up close and almost personal with these cute little furry critters.

Flying Spaghetti Monster in the Oregonian

Bobby Henderson's Flying Spaghetti Monster becomes an Internet hit: "Folks proposing intelligent design as an alternative to the theory of evolution should recognize as brothers in arms -- er, tentacles -- the Pastafarians, who seek equal time for the Flying Spaghetti Monster."

Pre-order emblems from Ring of Fire and T-shirts from Bobby Henderson's store.

Man Who Told Cheney to "Cheney" Himself Is On Ebay

Physician who told Cheney to go F*ck Himself Lost his Home in Katrina, Detained, Cuffed by Cheney's M-16-carrying Goons - That story is here, but before you go away read the following and possibly go to ebay to bid on his video of the event.

"eBay: DVD of me saying "GO **** YOURSELF" to DICK CHENEY (item 7712202734 end time Sep-16-05 18:08:16 PDT): "'A week or so ago I experienced the single most traumatic week of my life,' So on 090805 I put on an old nasty 'Mr. T I PITY THE FOOL' tshirt to go salvage what I could from our wrecked home....LOL....

My friend Jay Scully and I were driving to my former house on 2nd Street in Gulport, Ms. that was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. I arrived at the railroad tracks when the MP's wouldn't let me cross a barricade that is literally 200 feet or so from my house. They told me 'no one' could pass and so I would have to take another route which was about an extra 20 minutes of driving.

Now thanks to Dubya Gump and Mr. Cheney gas is really expensive and extremely hard to get anywhere Katrina has destroyed so needless to say I was extremely aggravated that they wouldn't let me pass. Then suddenly a long line of dark cars pulls up and they start honking at me to backup to let the long line of cars through the barricade that supposedly no one can drive through.

Well that pissed me off even more so I waved a middle finger at the caravan. I drove the extra 20 minutes and finally made it back to my destroyed house filming video of the destruction along the way.

A few minutes later I overheard a neighbor say that Dick Cheney was down the street talking to people. Now I know Dubya Gump and Mr. Dick do NOT control the weather but I am no fan of them for several reasons.

Unlike some people I am in the business of saving lives so I am not happy about the fact that so many people have died in the aftermath of Katrina due to the slow action of FEMA not to even mention the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time for all the wrong reasons i.e. Iraq. And for those who don't know Mr. Cheney is infamous for telling Senator Leahy 'GO **** YOURSELF' on the senate floor.

Now my neighbor was talking to two police officers at the time and so I asked them if me and my friend could go down and see what was going on. They said they were looking forward to talk to the locals...LOL.

So we grabbed my Canon digital rebel and my Sony videocamera and started walking down the street. And then right in front of the destroyed tennis court I used to play on Dick Cheney was giving a pep rally talking to the press.

The secret service guys patted us down and waved the wands over us and then let us pass.

Anyway I was standing about 10 feet away from Mr. Cheney while my friend was filming. I then took a picture of him and then yelled "Mr. Cheney Go Fu* Yourself....Go Fu* YOURSELF....Go Fu* Yourself...you asshole".

I had/have no intention of harming anyone but merely wanted to echo Mr. Cheney's infamous words back at him. At that moment I noticed the secret service guys with a panic stricken look on their faces like they were about to tackle me so I calmly began walking back to my house waved to one of them and said "Have a nice day".

My friend videotaped a little bit longer and then he came back to the house. We were loading the things we could salvage and about 10 minutes or so later two MP's waving M-16's showed up at my house. They said they were looking for someone who fit my description who had cursed at the VP.

I told them I was probably the person they were looking for and so they put me in handcuffs and 'detained' me for about 20 minutes or so. My right thumb went numb because the cuffs were on so tight but they were fairly courteous and eventually released me after getting all my contact info. They said I had NOT broken any laws so I was free to go.

My wife, Lisa Marble, was featured on CNN after having our baby Sofia Grace shortly after the storm but the truth is we are still luckier than many people down here because at least we didn't die in the worst natural disaster in the history of our nation.

Nevertheless I thought I could try to raise some awareness to the bad policies of the Dubya Gump administration and also possibly raise some money to replace the many things we lost. So I am going to auction the mini-dvd we personally shot of the event plus a bunch my personal footage of the disaster....(not to be mistaken with the video shown on "The Daily Show" or anywhere else which is already all over the web). I will also grant an interview to the winner if so desired."

thanks
Ben Marble, M.D."